Holy crow, you guys. This chapter should serve as the ultimate warning message for teenage girls. If the boy you like treats you like this, THINGS ARE NOT OKAY! Stephenie Meyer, if you think it’s alright to treat people this way, you have deep emotional problems. Fair warning, there’s not so much humor in this review as in the others. I don’t think the subject matter addressed in this chapter should be made light of. It’s serious and disturbing.
Twilight, Chapter 5: Blood Type
Chapter 5 picks up moments after Chapter 4 ends, with Bella literally in a daze over her short, awkward, condescending conversation with Edward.
“I made my way to English in a daze.”
“Maybe it was just a very convincing dream that I’d confused with reality. That seemed more probable than that I really appealed to him on any level.”
Yup. Bella is in a daze because she just can’t believe that Mister Perfect Face acknowledges her existence in a positive fashion. And frankly, I’m with her on this one. I’m not sure what appeal she has, either.
So we cut to lunch and as usual, Bella is putting her creepy stalker skills to use scoping out the cafeteria for Edward. She is so focused on finding his face that she’s completely ignoring her friend.
“Jessica babbled on and on about her dance plans…completely unaware of my inattention.”
Isn’t she just the bestest friend ever?
She locates the Cullen table (which by this point shouldn’t be hard since it’s always the same table) and is heartbroken that Edward isn’t sitting with his family. She’s so depressed by this that she loses her appetite and doesn’t even bother buying lunch. She sits with her friends and sulks a bit until Jessica comments that Edward is staring at her. She looks up to see Edward sitting alone at a different table. And then something really gross happened.
“Once he’d caught my eye, he raised one hand and motioned with his index finger for me to join him. As I stared in disbelief, he winked.”
If that didn’t make you shudder right out of your skin, you need to seek help. He beckoned her and then WINKED. What a sleaze. And naturally, being the obedient lovesick moron that she is, Bella did as she was told.
“I sat down automatically, watching him with caution. He was still smiling. It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be real.”
They then have lunch together, all the while he tells her how much they shouldn’t be friends and how she should stay away from him.
“Behind the smile, the warning was real.”
She’s very nervous and apprehensive and uncomfortable, almost frightened. Ladies, if the boy you like makes you feel like that, HE SHOULDN’T BE THAT BOY YOU LIKE. It’s one thing to have butterflies, it’s another to feel not altogether safe. And if the boy is actively warning you against getting to know him because he’s not going to be good for you, take that as a hint and move on.
Apparently, Bella has been trying to work out exactly what Edward is that makes him able to stop vans with his bare hands. Her for-real guesses are Spider-man and Batman. I’m not kidding.
“I had been vacillating during the last month between Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker. There was no way I was going to own up to that.”
Stephenie Meyer, why have you made your character, who is supposed to be smarter than most kids her age, so freaking stupid? Because Bella was dead serious. She wasn’t kidding. And when pressed by Edward later on, she actually asked if he’d been bitten by a radioactive spider. There aren’t enough desks in the free world to slam my head into for that one. Then Edward gets all serious and deep and suggests that maybe he’s not the superhero. Maybe he’s the—GASP—bad guy. Dum dum dummmmmm! *foreshadow*
Edward and Bella decide to be friends and talk in their awkward back and forth that can hardly be called a real conversation until the end of lunch, at which time Edward informs her that he’ll be ditching Bio. You know, because he’s a bad guy. Bella contemplates ditching with him but chickens out and runs to class. It just so happens that the day’s activity will be blood typing, during which each student must prick their finger and examine the blood under a microscope. I wonder why Edward skipped this one…
Evidently, Bella and I share exactly one thing in common; we don’t mix well with blood. Fingers get pricked, blood starts flowing, and Bella nearly passes out. Mike offers to help her to the nurse’s office, but is met en route by Edward, who picks Bella up against her will and carries her the rest of the way. It’s here that we really start to see the beginnings of something disturbing. Bella doesn’t want to be carried. She doesn’t need to be carried. She even tries to fight him. But he ignores her and carries her anyway, asserting his physical dominance over her. And sadly, she just takes it without any real argument. But wait, it gets worse. He sweet talks the nurse into checking Bella out of school and letting him take her home, which I’m 100% is illegal since Bella is only 17 and Edward is not her legal guardian. But regardless, it works and they head out to the parking lot and this is where things get bad. Fast.
So Bella starts to head toward her truck and Edward grabs her and starts pulling her toward his car, saying he told the nurse he would take her home and that’s exactly what he intended to do. She fights against him, telling him she’s perfectly capable of driving herself, but again, he ignores her and continues to physically drag her against her will to his car. She even contemplates making a run for it to her truck, prompting this line from Edward:
“‘I’ll just drag you back,’ he threatened, guessing my plan.”
Okay, to all the teenage girls who are certainly reading this right now, if you have to formulate escape plans to get away from the boy you like, THIS IS NOT THE BOY YOU SHOULD LIKE. Edward completely dominates Bella here, physically and mentally. This is not okay. This is not normal and this is not healthy. Stephenie Meyer, not only are you a hack writer, but you are glorifying dangerous and abusive behavior and teaching girls that this sort of thing is alright so long as the boy is attractive and perfect. These are not the actions of a perfect boy. These are the actions of a man who likes to dominate women. This is not a relationship that should be revered or idolized or put on a pedestal. Stephenie Meyer, you should be ashamed of yourself. I feel gross after reading this chapter.